A Mix of Emotions

In many respects, this video pretty well describes how I've been feeling this week:



After the horrific actions of a supposed "father" this Sunday....I've had to remind myself on more than one occasion that there are good people in this world.

I've found myself defending the actions of those just trying to do the best jobs they could for those boys and their mother.

I've been thinking of this General Conference talk a lot: http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2008/04/to-heal-the-shattering-consequences-of-abuse?lang=eng&query=abuse

And then--oddly enough, today I began pondering something else.

As I was searching lds.org, I found this awesome talk about justice by James E. Faust:

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/1997/10/the-weightier-matters-of-the-law-judgment-mercy-and-faith?lang=eng&query=justice+faust

And in it, read this lengthier part:

"I wish to state unequivocally that the commandments of God must be kept to receive the blessings and promises of the Savior. The Ten Commandments are still a vital thread in the fabric of the gospel of Christ, but with His coming came new light and life which brings a fuller measure of joy and happiness. Jesus introduced a higher and more difficult standard of human conduct. It is simpler as well as more difficult because it focuses on internal rather than external requirements: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. 3 Love your neighbor as yourself. 4 When smitten, turn the other cheek. 5 When asked for a coat, give your cloak also. 6 Forgive, not just once but seventy times seven. 7 This was the essence of the new gospel. There was more emphasis on do than do not. More moral agency was given to each of us.

Joseph Smith, the Prophet of the dispensation of the fulness of times, established the Church by revelation as the receptacle of gospel truth. He brought more light, warmth, and joy into the Church through the numerous lofty revelations, such as how the priesthood should be exercised: “No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned.” 8 This high standard of conduct, if lived, will bring to fruition the promise: “Men are, that they might have joy.” 9

Over the centuries dogmatism, coercion, and intolerance have too often polluted the living water of the gospel, which quenches our spiritual thirst eternally. 10 The Savior observed this in His day: “Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone.

“Ye blind guides, which strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel.” 11

Similarly, Paul said, “The letter killeth, but the spirit giveth life.” 12

We are not only to avoid evil, not only to do good but, most importantly, to do the things of greatest worth. We are to focus on the inward things of the heart, which we know and value intuitively but often neglect for that which is trivial, superficial, or prideful.

The saving principles and doctrines of the Church are established, fixed, and unchangeable. Obedience to these absolutes is necessary to enjoy “peace in this world, and eternal life in the world to come.” 13 However, the manner in which the Church administers complex and varied worldwide challenges changes from time to time. Under guidance from living prophets, new guidelines and procedures are put in place. I welcome these inspired changes. They are proof of the truthfulness of the restored gospel.

I have some fear, however, that some members consider guidelines and procedures to be as important as the timeless, immutable laws of the gospel, such as “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” 14 Rather than some legalistic definition of adultery, the Savior’s more enlightened direction is that the thought is father to the deed: he that “looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” 15

Who decides what is right and wrong in given circumstances? Where does the responsibility for the making of moral judgments rest? With mature individuals, of course, it rests with each individual. In the case of children, the responsibility of giving moral guidance rests with the parents. They know the disposition, understanding, and intelligence of each child. Parents spend a lifetime seeking to establish and maintain good communications with each of their children. They are in the best position to make the ultimate moral decisions as to the welfare and well-being of their offspring. The higher principles of the gospel—justice, mercy, and faith—are very important in all family relationships.

Many years ago when I was a bishop, a conscientious father came to me for counsel. He felt that the many and frequent activities of the Church made it difficult to have as much family togetherness as he and his wife deemed necessary. The children had the idea that they were not loyal to the Church if they did not participate fully in every recreational activity. I told this caring father that Church activities were to help him and his wife rear their children. They as parents had not only the right but the duty to determine the extent of their family’s involvement in social activities. Family unity, solidarity, and harmony should be preserved. After all, a family is the basic, permanent unit of the Church.

There are three sources of guidance for making moral judgments. First is the guidance of the Holy Ghost. This is always a sure compass for those who have been baptized and received this supernal gift. The second source is the wise counsel of priesthood leaders whom the Lord has put in place to guide us. Third, the constant demonstration of love should temper all our judgments. Sometimes this means discipline."

I have especially been pondering on this section:

"I have some fear, however, that some members consider guidelines and procedures to be as important as the timeless, immutable laws of the gospel..."

I have run into "dogmatism" this last year within the Church--on both ends of the "dogma" spectrum (yes, I had to look up the meaning of the word).

You see--it's an "election" year. Aren't we excited (yes--can you sense the sarcasm in my tone)?

I used to pay indeffinite (sp?) attention. I used to watch every debate.

Now--I can hardly stand any of it.

Because, you see, just as Elder Oaks says beautifully in this recent CES talk:

http://www.lds.org/broadcasts/article/ces-devotionals/2011/10/truth-and-tolerance?lang=eng

(which has been a wonderful guide for me this year)--we, as Church members, are not to "add to the extremism" that purveys our world.

Thus--in one news cast, I find myself at odds with those currently in "control" of our beloved Country, saying things like "stay out of my religion"--while in the next minute, find myself at odds with those WHO WANT to be in "control" of our Country, saying things like "stay out of my u t e r u s!!!!" (And yes--I have a firm belief that if you don't have one, you should not be allowed to make laws about what I do with mine!).

I do not recall a time in my own personal history where there was so much bantering back and forth--where courts were passing judgements--where one minute I agree, and the next minute I'm shocked and amazed that a judge could do something so stupid!

I do not recall a time where laws sat on "senate" floors, or waiting to be heard in "congressional committees" for so long. Laws that impact a huge amount of people, and a huge amount of lives,--and the future--just stewing while our so-called "leaders" on BOTH sides of the political spectrum banter about less important things. (or battle by digging in their heels and refusing to budge).

Am I stressing myself into an anxious extreme? No. I'm not.

I used to--but I'm not.

I have enough faith to know that the Lord is ultimately in charge, and that no anxiety on my part is going to make it all better.

Am I angry? Only that, as my opening video says, we are so focused on stupidity, that we are allowing such insane evil to go on (although, yes, it was ever thus).

But--mainly--I return to what Pres. Faust said. I think about it, and think: are we truly prepared for what is to come? Am I?

Yes--many people have oodles of food storage, and cash, and are prepared for natural disasters in this Church.

But, what if, for example, the Church had to "get out of the eternal wedding" business, as I call it? (And no, I AM NOT PROPHESYING ANYTHING). I agree whole-heartedly that we should fight to defend our Constitutional rights---but I also can see a "human-rights" picture...

So what if the "traditions" had to change? What if the "guidelines" had to change? Are we prepared for that?

Are we, as Church members, so focused on, as Pres. Faust says, "that some members consider guidelines and procedures to be as important as the timeless, immutable laws of the gospel..."

Are we so focused on the PROGRAMS--that we forget the POINT?

As someone who has never had an "eternal wedding"--I have become an outside observer. I wanted the tradition--BELIEVE me!

But, in many other countries, couples have to get married civily first. Then they are sealed. And a "party" or celebration--well it can take place at any time.

Thus--outside of the US, the Church is often already outside of the "eternal wedding" business, and focused on the "eternal marriage" part. You know--the part that ultimately is supposed to last "forever".

I'm not saying I'm opposed to a good party--but really--where should our focus be?

There are many other areas where I think about this. Many other programs--where I wonder if people's testimonies will fall a part like glass (notice the Joseph Smith reference here) if that program is changed, or ended.

Where members are prepared to face any natural disaster, but when asked to follow a new guideline--they fall to pieces.

I'm not claiming perfection in this at all--I'm just pondering and praying.

But--as I view the "political arena" this year, and see the constant on-going extremism on both ends of the spectrum--I wonder.

As someone who is desperately trying to re-build up her food storage after 2 moves, with 0 money--and is slowly chipping away at huge amounts of necessary debt---

sometimes I realize that what keeps me going is not miles and miles of food storage (not that it is not important--it is) and emergency supplies (again--important....but)---but faith that the Lord knows what He is doing, this is His Church,

and, that change even within the Church will occur. We should stand up and defend what we believe in and know to be true.....

But we should also be prepared for changes to come.

Whew--THAT is a lot of pondering!!!