I recall the trips to the library. I love music. Love it. It's been a part of my life since I was in the womb.
You cannot be the daughter of a woman with a "remarkable" voice without having music be such a huge part of your life.
So much so--that as I've said before on this blog, when I was dealing with anxiety and depression--I "forgot" about music.
I did not even realize this until the treatments started to work--what a beautiful sound that all was!
BUT--I have always sought after good music.
I also enjoy surprising people with the range I like.
Everything from Jazz to pop, hip hop to hard rock.
I have not listened to "every artist" from every genre--
But--I have my favorites from most....
But--prior to investing in the used CD stores--I used to go to the library. And I was like a panther on the prowl...
I'd search through every cassette (remember those?)
Every CD (once I got my stereo--oh what a beautiful day that was. Yup--for my 16th birthday I did not want a car--I wanted a real live stereo--with a CD player!).
But at the library I went through most every genre and artist (well--the clean one's--sort of :))
From Reo to Journey--from Tennessee to Boston--from Whitney to J. Jackson.
I hung onto Whitney for a good long time. Listening to that amazing voice over and over again.
She was the ultimate during the mid-late 80's and early 90's. She--although we did not know it at the time--was in her hey-day.
And years later, as a senior--singing "Greatest Love of All" to droves of elementary children--trying to inspire in them the self-worth enough to choose to not do drugs, or drink--or become addicted to anything.
I typically forgot what the woman who first "made" that song might have been doing.
As odd as it sounds--that line from a different song--and a different singer rings true:
"Re-runs all become our history".
I feel like this is a re-run of sorts. Too soon. Too sad!
I pray for her daughter--so much for her daughter (and mother). How ironically sad, that while others were celebrating the award show in which she often displayed (and was awarded) for her unique talent--
She was leaving this "side of the veil".
Thank you, Whitney--for being part of my history.
Even my mother liked your voice (and believe me--that's saying something! Although--she tried to sing one of your songs once. I told her never to do that again. She just didn't have any "soul"--like you did).
I'm sorry that your amazing gift brought so other's happiness--while it likely brought you pain.
Just like with M.J.--I want to recall the "good days".
So--here is one of my favorite memories. May heaven be with those mourning (so much mourning lately--ugh!)
Ever seen the "Free the Schlivley Volvo" episode of "Designing Women"?
Well--I had a moment like that today.
I"m just going to say it--how do mechanics get away with being so...so...
DISCRIMINATORY???????
Honestly--I read an article today about the whole religion/business issues that are out there in this day and age.
Yet--with complicated issues such as these--I literally had to stand in front of 4 grown old men today--and holler, basically "DOTH THOU COMPREHEND???"
I mean (I'm now speaking directly to the supposed mechanics)--I'm sorry that your main mechanic went home sick yesterday--but I ONLY HAVE 1 CAR!!!! I DO NOT HAVE ACCESS TO ANOTHER CAR!!! AND I HAVE TO GO TO WORK ON MONDAY!!!!
They literally could not get it through their thick skulls that the fact that their mechanic was ill, that they (supposedly) tried to call me 4 times (ya--no record of ANY attempts to call me), almost 20 hours AFTER he went home ill--that I had every right to demand that they put my car BACK TOGETHER the way I brought it in--so I could take it home!!!
I mean--I think they literally thought (until I yelled at them the fourth time) that I was going to have them fix it!!!
So--here is my "Doth Thou Comprehend" message to ALL mechanics everywhere:
Yes--they're all going to be capitalized!!!
1. WHOM DO YOU ALL THINK YOU ARE? THE GODS OF THE WORLD? YES, YOU UNDERSTAND "CAR SPEAK" WHILE WE, (THE UNEDUCATED) HAVE TO SPEAK TO YOU IN "SQUEAKS" AND "POSSIBLE ENGINE NOISES"--BUT WE ARE THE ONES WHO PAY YOU!!!! SO STOP TAKING US FOR GRANTED, AND STOP TAKING US FOR ALL WE HAVE!!!
2. THE CAR IS NOT YOURS!!!!! IF I WANT TO TAKE IT--I CAN--ANY OLD TIME I WANT. YOU DO NOT OWN IT--SO IF I DEMAND IT--GET UP OFF YOUR KEISTER AND GET IT READY!!!
3. JUST BECAUSE I HAVE B O O B S AND A U T E R U S DOES NOT MEAN I'M STUPID, OR SHOULD BE TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF--SO QUIT LOOKING AT ME EITHER LIKE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN A WOMAN BEFORE--OR WITH MONEY SIGNS IN YOUR EYES WHEN I WALK IN THE DOOR!!!
4. REGULAR PEOPLE HAVE JOBS--AND PLACES THEY NEED TO BE BETWEEN 7:30-5:00---AND THEY HAVE TO GET IN CONTACT WITH YOU DURING THE LUNCH HOURS. S0 WHY DON'T YOU PLAN ACCORDINGLY--AND START HAVING HOURS AND LUNCH BREAKS WHEN WE ARE NOT WORKING--AND DON'T HAVE 15 MINUTES WORTH OF TIME TO GET A HOLD OF YOU?
5. WOMEN REMEMBER (TYPICALLY) MUCH BETTER THAN MEN. SO, WHEN YOU OVERCHARGE ME, FIX THE WRONG THING BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO ME, DON'T TALK TO ME PRIOR TO FIXING SOMETHING, OR DO ANYTHING ELSE TO TRY TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME--I WILL REMEMBER. NOT ONLY THAT--BUT I WILL SEND OUT MESSAGES TO ANY ONE ELSE I TALK TO ABOUT NEVER USING YOU!!!
6. STOP NOT QUOTING ME THE WHOLE PRICE. IF YOU CHARGE TAXES--INCLUDE THEM IN THE QUOTED PRICE.
7. DON'T CALL ME "mA'AM, SWEETIE" OR ANY OTHER NAME WHEN I'M OBVIOUSLY MAD AT YOU. IT WILL ONLY MAKE ME MADDER.
8. LISTEN. LISTEN AGAIN. LISTEN MORE. LISTEN MORE. LISTEN. CAN I SAY THAT MORE?
9. I DO APPRECIATE IT WHEN YOU WARN ME OF UPCOMING FIXES, PRIOR TO THEM HAPPENING--BUT NOT DEMANDING I MAKE AN APPOINTMENT TO FIX THEM RIGHT THEN!
10. FINALLY--(FOR THE MOMENT)--IF I HAVE TO GO HOME AND GOOGLE THE REAL PRICE ON SOMETHING, THE MEANING OF A NAME OF SOMETHING, WHETHER I'M REALLY SAFE TO DRIVE MY CAR, TO SEE YOUR REVIEWS, OR HAVE TO PRAY THAT MY ANXIOUS STOMACH DOESN'T SET OFF MY HEALTH PROBLEMS--I WILL LIKELY NEVER COME BACK. PUH-LEASE DON'T CAUSE THIS TO HAPPEN IF YOU WANT ME TO COME BACK. BE HONEST!!!!!
Say it with me!!! "Free the Schively Volvo!!!" Quit thinking you can hold "us" (especially us with b o o b s and u t e r u s e s) hostage because of your control of the mechanic market!!!
In many respects, this video pretty well describes how I've been feeling this week:
After the horrific actions of a supposed "father" this Sunday....I've had to remind myself on more than one occasion that there are good people in this world.
I've found myself defending the actions of those just trying to do the best jobs they could for those boys and their mother.
"I wish to state unequivocally that the commandments of God must be kept to receive the blessings and promises of the Savior. The Ten Commandments are still a vital thread in the fabric of the gospel of Christ, but with His coming came new light and life which brings a fuller measure of joy and happiness. Jesus introduced a higher and more difficult standard of human conduct. It is simpler as well as more difficult because it focuses on internal rather than external requirements: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. 3 Love your neighbor as yourself. 4 When smitten, turn the other cheek. 5 When asked for a coat, give your cloak also. 6 Forgive, not just once but seventy times seven. 7 This was the essence of the new gospel. There was more emphasis on do than do not. More moral agency was given to each of us.
Joseph Smith, the Prophet of the dispensation of the fulness of times, established the Church by revelation as the receptacle of gospel truth. He brought more light, warmth, and joy into the Church through the numerous lofty revelations, such as how the priesthood should be exercised: “No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned.” 8 This high standard of conduct, if lived, will bring to fruition the promise: “Men are, that they might have joy.” 9
Over the centuries dogmatism, coercion, and intolerance have too often polluted the living water of the gospel, which quenches our spiritual thirst eternally. 10 The Savior observed this in His day: “Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone.
“Ye blind guides, which strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel.” 11
Similarly, Paul said, “The letter killeth, but the spirit giveth life.” 12
We are not only to avoid evil, not only to do good but, most importantly, to do the things of greatest worth. We are to focus on the inward things of the heart, which we know and value intuitively but often neglect for that which is trivial, superficial, or prideful.
The saving principles and doctrines of the Church are established, fixed, and unchangeable. Obedience to these absolutes is necessary to enjoy “peace in this world, and eternal life in the world to come.” 13 However, the manner in which the Church administers complex and varied worldwide challenges changes from time to time. Under guidance from living prophets, new guidelines and procedures are put in place. I welcome these inspired changes. They are proof of the truthfulness of the restored gospel.
I have some fear, however, that some members consider guidelines and procedures to be as important as the timeless, immutable laws of the gospel, such as “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” 14 Rather than some legalistic definition of adultery, the Savior’s more enlightened direction is that the thought is father to the deed: he that “looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” 15
Who decides what is right and wrong in given circumstances? Where does the responsibility for the making of moral judgments rest? With mature individuals, of course, it rests with each individual. In the case of children, the responsibility of giving moral guidance rests with the parents. They know the disposition, understanding, and intelligence of each child. Parents spend a lifetime seeking to establish and maintain good communications with each of their children. They are in the best position to make the ultimate moral decisions as to the welfare and well-being of their offspring. The higher principles of the gospel—justice, mercy, and faith—are very important in all family relationships.
Many years ago when I was a bishop, a conscientious father came to me for counsel. He felt that the many and frequent activities of the Church made it difficult to have as much family togetherness as he and his wife deemed necessary. The children had the idea that they were not loyal to the Church if they did not participate fully in every recreational activity. I told this caring father that Church activities were to help him and his wife rear their children. They as parents had not only the right but the duty to determine the extent of their family’s involvement in social activities. Family unity, solidarity, and harmony should be preserved. After all, a family is the basic, permanent unit of the Church.
There are three sources of guidance for making moral judgments. First is the guidance of the Holy Ghost. This is always a sure compass for those who have been baptized and received this supernal gift. The second source is the wise counsel of priesthood leaders whom the Lord has put in place to guide us. Third, the constant demonstration of love should temper all our judgments. Sometimes this means discipline."
I have especially been pondering on this section:
"I have some fear, however, that some members consider guidelines and procedures to be as important as the timeless, immutable laws of the gospel..."
I have run into "dogmatism" this last year within the Church--on both ends of the "dogma" spectrum (yes, I had to look up the meaning of the word).
You see--it's an "election" year. Aren't we excited (yes--can you sense the sarcasm in my tone)?
I used to pay indeffinite (sp?) attention. I used to watch every debate.
Now--I can hardly stand any of it.
Because, you see, just as Elder Oaks says beautifully in this recent CES talk:
(which has been a wonderful guide for me this year)--we, as Church members, are not to "add to the extremism" that purveys our world.
Thus--in one news cast, I find myself at odds with those currently in "control" of our beloved Country, saying things like "stay out of my religion"--while in the next minute, find myself at odds with those WHO WANT to be in "control" of our Country, saying things like "stay out of my u t e r u s!!!!" (And yes--I have a firm belief that if you don't have one, you should not be allowed to make laws about what I do with mine!).
I do not recall a time in my own personal history where there was so much bantering back and forth--where courts were passing judgements--where one minute I agree, and the next minute I'm shocked and amazed that a judge could do something so stupid!
I do not recall a time where laws sat on "senate" floors, or waiting to be heard in "congressional committees" for so long. Laws that impact a huge amount of people, and a huge amount of lives,--and the future--just stewing while our so-called "leaders" on BOTH sides of the political spectrum banter about less important things. (or battle by digging in their heels and refusing to budge).
Am I stressing myself into an anxious extreme? No. I'm not.
I used to--but I'm not.
I have enough faith to know that the Lord is ultimately in charge, and that no anxiety on my part is going to make it all better.
Am I angry? Only that, as my opening video says, we are so focused on stupidity, that we are allowing such insane evil to go on (although, yes, it was ever thus).
But--mainly--I return to what Pres. Faust said. I think about it, and think: are we truly prepared for what is to come? Am I?
Yes--many people have oodles of food storage, and cash, and are prepared for natural disasters in this Church.
But, what if, for example, the Church had to "get out of the eternal wedding" business, as I call it? (And no, I AM NOT PROPHESYING ANYTHING). I agree whole-heartedly that we should fight to defend our Constitutional rights---but I also can see a "human-rights" picture...
So what if the "traditions" had to change? What if the "guidelines" had to change? Are we prepared for that?
Are we, as Church members, so focused on, as Pres. Faust says, "that some members consider guidelines and procedures to be as important as the timeless, immutable laws of the gospel..."
Are we so focused on the PROGRAMS--that we forget the POINT?
As someone who has never had an "eternal wedding"--I have become an outside observer. I wanted the tradition--BELIEVE me!
But, in many other countries, couples have to get married civily first. Then they are sealed. And a "party" or celebration--well it can take place at any time.
Thus--outside of the US, the Church is often already outside of the "eternal wedding" business, and focused on the "eternal marriage" part. You know--the part that ultimately is supposed to last "forever".
I'm not saying I'm opposed to a good party--but really--where should our focus be?
There are many other areas where I think about this. Many other programs--where I wonder if people's testimonies will fall a part like glass (notice the Joseph Smith reference here) if that program is changed, or ended.
Where members are prepared to face any natural disaster, but when asked to follow a new guideline--they fall to pieces.
I'm not claiming perfection in this at all--I'm just pondering and praying.
But--as I view the "political arena" this year, and see the constant on-going extremism on both ends of the spectrum--I wonder.
As someone who is desperately trying to re-build up her food storage after 2 moves, with 0 money--and is slowly chipping away at huge amounts of necessary debt---
sometimes I realize that what keeps me going is not miles and miles of food storage (not that it is not important--it is) and emergency supplies (again--important....but)---but faith that the Lord knows what He is doing, this is His Church,
and, that change even within the Church will occur. We should stand up and defend what we believe in and know to be true.....
But we should also be prepared for changes to come.
Can't you just hear Snape's drawling voice with that title?
"Feeling Sentimental...."
Seriously--Snape is one of the best characters.
But--that's not what this entry is all about.
I've been feeling sentimental as of late.
I have no idea why. Maybe it's the whole starting the new year thing.
Maybe it's to avoid the constant barrage of already beginning (and annoying) political pundits.
Who knows.
But--I have decided this year--that I am going to try at least a couple times throughout the month to spotlight something "Sentimental"--a favorite from my past (or present)--that is worth spotlighting.
If any of you out there would like to add your own "sentiments" feel free!
Here's the first. Remember these?
They were so cool!!!
Ahhh---those were the days (they really were! Those necklaces were pretty fun!)
I've had a lot of important thoughts running through my head this week about what to write this week on this blog.
I thought about writing about how I just don't accept "ignorance" as an excuse. I don't care if people are ignorant--cause really, don't we choose (for the most part) to be (or stay) ignorant? So, when I get that excuse of "well, they weren't trying to be offensive, they were just ignorant (especially about people with disabilities) I just want to say that ignorance is not a good excuse. It's 2012! It doesn't mean any of us are perfectly knowledgeable, but in this day and age, for those of us who are basically well educated anyway--do we really have the right to use the excuse of "ignorance"?
OR
I thought about blogging about politics--and about consequences--and about how there seem to be those who think they shouldn't have to face consequences--and those of us who realize that consequences are part of the plan--and make EVERYTHING conditional (including love, thank you!). But--then I thought better of opening the political "can of worms".
So--instead I'm going to write about things beyond me. I learned something this week--about how someone else has been treated. Someone who is different than me. And I was reminded yet again that there are some things that are just beyond me.
I just can't fathom how others can honestly be "that" way. It's not that any of us are perfectly not guilty of believing a stereotype. I think everyone has likely been guilty of assumptions and even some amount of prejudice.
BUT--I guess what is beyond me, is that I was raised to recognize these (assumptions that turn into prejudice) in myself, and CORRECT them!!!! And, my assumptions didn't have to be proven wrong in order to correct myself.
So--it's just beyond me how other people can be such the opposite of this.
Now--don't get me wrong. I'm grateful that this is beyond me!
But--I just can't fathom it. It's like (in my mind)--on one level my brain "gets" it--but on another (the higher level, I suppose)--it just doesn't.
Now--to turn that "beyond me" on it's side:
Have you ever experienced a time, physical health wise, where something was "beyond" you?
Where the physical problems you were experiencing were just beyond your ability to "overcome" alone?
I have--more than once.
It's an interestingly hard experience. Luckily, each time I was able to find the treatment I needed to solve the problem (the last one I experienced, though, the treatment was pretty darn expensive--it involved moving! Oye!)
Anyway--I was pondering this as I was walking today--and remembered being a teenager.
See--at one point as a teenager, I gave in. I was so convinced that I was not beautiful enough, skinny enough, and of enough worth--that I needed to "fix" my physical appearance by giving into a horrible addiction (meaning--not a d r u g addiction--but an addiction involved with food, purging, etc).
I had yet to "give in"--but I had tried. But this day--as I attempted to give in--something happened. Through my tears--I heard a voice--luckily it was the Spirit.
And you know what it said "There are more important things than this". As I looked in the mirror, it said it again "There are MORE IMPORTANT THINGS THAN THIS!!!"
And--I realized what I was being told.
See--knowing myself, it could have been easy to give into the obsession. And the "opposition" LOVES for us to obsess, and distracting us from what is important for us to do here on this earth.
But, there are more important things for us all to do.
So--I started to research, and learn. Even though I had never been wholly successful, I realized that "eating disorder" was where I was at.
I read, and learned--and realized that I had to choose something different.
Do I feel lucky I never wholly "gave in". Yes--but, I have some ability to fathom the reality of these issues.
So now--I purposefully choose to NOT do specific things.
For example--I do not own a scale. When I've lived in houses with scales, I obsess.
I am aware of calories, but counting each of them can be dangerous for me. So I have to be very careful about that.
Because of other health issues, I cannot have an empty stomach without severe pain and consequences. Thus, I've had to accept who I am--every last molecule of myself.
AND--that although others may judge me as having a problem that is "beyond me" because I"m not "skinny"---I have learned to see beyond these judgements.
NOW--this is not easy--AT ALL. It means focusing on health--some days are better than others. Some weeks are better than others. Some months--and some years--are better than others.
It means I have to recognize prejudice for what it is--and face that head on. But, by focusing on health--I have to give and have faith in the Lord--and that, as imperfect as my physical appearance may be to the world, that He will help me.
Thus--I eat, I exercise, I sleep. I watch and am careful about my health and health problems. Sometimes the problems (as in now) mean I have to make health choices others may judge. I have had to learn (and remind myself) that they don't know the whole story--and they don't matter.
But mostly--this has taught me that there are MORE IMPORTANT things than how we look, and even, how we feel. As I've grown through this experience--I've realized that what the Lord has been teaching me is that it's not about me--it's about Him. It's not that He does not want us to be healthy---but even health is not as important as doing what He wants, following the Commandments, and Following Him (having a mother with terminal cancer has helped me learn this as well. What is important at this point is not her health--as much as it has been and continues to be her choices in life).
So--in this month of "resolutions"--I remind myself that, although some of my health problems are "beyond me", that the Lord will help me with it all.
What a beautiful thing!
(P.S. Although with all of this--I must still admit that if I see one more signing WWer's comercial, I may just through something at J. Hudson! Can they just be done--cause it's getting annoying!)
But I hate it when people use "difficult" as an excuse.
I had to deal with that today--
With people who couldn't imagine that someone with a disability could do most any job--
Cause it would be "difficult"--
Big whoop--is what I say!
As if life is easy?
Some people just can't seem to fathom that there are people with all types of disabilities who do all types of jobs.
--that there are people with all types of disabilities who go to college, or raise families, who have independent, fulfilling lives.
I said today that if I had a specific disability that I would want people to know that I was capable and independent.
And some people looked at me amazed.
Oh my stupid!!! And "pity" full!!!!
It is when I just want to tell people "Who do you think you are? What, because life is hard, it should not be tried? Don't sit there and feel sorry for people, in your little "box" that tells you how the world is supposed to be!"
Get outside the box people--try Googling a little bit--and broaden your dumb mind!!!
The number one thing that holds back people with disabilities is NOT their disability--
It's other people's lousy and "pity" full attitudes!!!
And lack of ability to think outside their boring little boxes--and see HOW things could be, instead of how difficult they think it is or would be!
Thank you for letting me rant and rave! It's been that type of experience today!
My mind has been racing as of lately--pondering on a lot of subjects.
So many that I don't know if I can remember them all here.
I'll try to write about some of the "randomness"....
**I recently read one of my favorite blogs. The lady who writes it is very insightful. She is fighting skin cancer--she's at the "maintenance" level now. So--she gets a maintenance chemo about once a month.
She wrote about how sometimes she looks in the mirror--and does not recognize who she is.
She said, yes--some of this is cause of the chemo (although she is not bald, and the side-effects, luckily, have been reasonably minimal)--but still "poison shows through"--
It reminded me of recently reading about Shannon Miller.
For those who may not remember, she was a member of the "Magnificent 7" USA Women's Gymnastic team of 1996. This last year (2011) was the 15th anniversary of their gold medal win (YES--you read that right--FIFTEENTH!!!)
I really liked her website. Although she promotes healthy lifestyles, she isn't "in your face" and cruel about it.
Have you ever noticed how cruel supposed "healthy lifestyle (mainly weight loss) comercials and stuff like that are? And we let these incredibly inhumane and rude concepts rule our lives so much....ugh....
Anyway--I digress.
My point is--the thirties are an interesting decade.
At this time, my friends who had children in the 1990's have teenagers.
In fact--some of those teenagers are "future" college-student aged....
Even those who had children in 2000 will have 12 year old's this year.
And I look in the mirror--and think "How did that happen?".
I realize that many of my friends will be becoming grandparents, at the same time I'm finally becoming a parent. Little bit of an ugh...
I'm not sure if it makes me feel younger, or older?
My 30's have been eventful. Just in a very different way than most of my friends.
But, I agree with the blogger I wrote about--sometimes I look in the mirror--and go "hmmm--when did that happen?"
I don't typically ask "who is that"--I recognize myself very well.
But--I remember around about 31 looking in the mirror and going "wow--I look different....."--as the blogger talked about. It's not a bad thing--just something that we have to get used to---this "aging" thing.
I don't mind it--am not really afraid of it (although the gray hair is annoying!)--but it is kind of weird. It's like "wasn't I just 25?"
**I hate it when people say things, seemingly on purpose, to see my reaction. Especially when I think they want to see my reaction as a member of the LDS Church.
Part of this is because there are many circumstances in which I do not feel it is appropriate for me to voice my actual thoughts--mainly because it will just cause negativeness or contention. I typically wait until I either feel prompted to say something--or for a more opportune situation to say something.
I do stand for what is true--but I also feel it's important to not shove "truth" in other's faces--from my experience this typically leads to contention.
But--I also worry--I don't want others to assume that my silence in inopportune situations as acceptance of wrong.
Although--I suppose that since I still get those times when someone seems to be trying to "set off something" that perhaps my life choices and example is enough?
It is like Elder Oaks says--there is moral truth. Moral truth needs to be defended---but moral truths should not be forced, and negative treatment of those who believe differently typically does not promote good.
It's a very frustrating balance--and typically leads me to prayer--begging the Lord to help me know what to do and what to say--or when not to say something.
So--perhaps I just need to accept those times when my mind is blank, and I don't know what to say as a time that the Lord wants me to not set off contention?
The other part that is frustrating--is especially when someone comments about things they have NO idea about (i.e. issues in SLCity, for example--when they've never been there)--just cause I "raise an eyebrow" does not mean that I did so for the reason they assume. But--when they say it to try to possibly set off some kind of reaction from me (at least, that's how I feel)---I try to have no reaction--or minimal (raised eyebrow). Again, though--I just hope they don't assume this reaction means I agree with them--arg!
**I finally watched 17 Miracles. It was well done. This makes me happy. I'm grateful the Lord presents miracles (especially the visitation of angels) typically when we least expect it. Cause sometimes realizing how close we are to "others" is so comforting--and sometimes it just feels weird. I love one of the "out-takes"--one of the deleted scenes--where an angel appears to one of the sisters while she's struggling with her cart--and her look of "What the what?"
The other thing I like about the film is the representation of the "non-typical" situations--the person with a disability, the single mother who left her abusive husband, the little girl sent on her own, and so forth.
It's comforting to know that, in reality, many were in "non-typical" situations. It made me think of my great great great grandmother--who was a member of the same Willie party. She lost both her parents and her best friend on the trip. She was completely alone, with only a sister back in England who had also joined the Church--but did not come to the US for many more years.
Once she got to UT, she married and had a child with a man, and later was granted a divorce from Brigham Young. She (as far as we can tell) was not awarded full custody of her daughter. She later became a plural wife--but actually took on at least 9 children not her own because the man's first wife left him.
She bore at least 10 children. Before she became a plural wife she was a working mother (working outside of the home). She continued, of course, to be a working mother in the home all the rest of her life.
But--the movie made me think of how her life was certainly not "typical"--and perhaps we forget in this Church, how most of the early members lived very atypical lives--atypical from what many in the Church assume is the "norm".
It's comforting to me....to know this.
Especially as the "goal" is different now--to build "Zion" where we are--to seek out those who need the truth beyond the mountains of UT.
I've traveled those "roads" more than once now--between IA to UT--but typically I was going "backwards"--the opposite direction of my great great great grandmother.
It almost seems odd--that they gave up so much to get to UT--yet I think it's the way it was meant to be.
The Saints needed the time to "grow and learn" within the mountain "walls". And now, their posterity, needs to grow beyond the walls.
It's actually a beautiful thing, I think.
**Oh--and I feel really bad for Levi S. Man--he took on a lot of "blame" by just being honest about the risks. But, I do believe that each member had to consciously choose to stay the course--and they would not be able to make that decision consciously if he had not outlined specifically for them what risks they were truly taking. Just my opinion.
Okay--there's some of the randomness going on in my brain....
